Weeks That Feel Like Years

Zenas shopping at Berkeley Bowl

We left for Hawaii on December 20, and returned from Japan on January 14. All intentions were there for updates along the way, and then for as soon as we got home... but a new phase of lethargy set in, and I am finding it very difficult to get back to the things which are part of taking care of myself, like writing.

First step: to let go of the insistence on posting everything at once or nothing at all. Great irony that I need to resort to what feel like baby steps. Or great poetry, depending on how I look at it. I want to get back to making entries, and will be putting in old dates as well as new ones, as I can't quite give up accuracy. So if you are one of the few devotees to Z, please check for December/January entries the next few weeks.

Zenas is five months old tomorrow. His birth feels like it happened both yesterday and a million years ago. I can trace his aging through photos and the tracking of his various new accomplishments. But his existence feels immeasurable, too precious to quantify and too elusive to name. But thanks to the calendar, we can pause and celebrate the now of Zenas. He weighs over 21 pounds. He's at least 27.5 inches. He stands and sits up with help. He's still teething. He doesn't crawl yet but we can see how that's going to happen soon. He smiles a lot and is generous with the belly laugh. He's tried ten foods already and makes solid poops. He wears cool outfits. He works toys with his now graspy hands. He manipulates us.

We love him we love him we love him.

Lost Item #3

H&M Herringbone Cap, size 2-4 mos.
We bought it for 300 yen in Japan and absolutely loved it--he wore it for a day or two only
Last seen: As we left the house for lunch at Pixar on 1/27/11; mother packed it to show off baby only to lose it somewhere in the car, restaurant or parking lot. Never seen and sold out at every location. (We have seen two other babies in San Francisco with the hat - we covet it still).

The Hair

The Fohawk has been long gone...

Though Zenas still insists on keeping his father's hairline, the hairs that are on his head have grown too long to stand up. His hairs are the baby fine, spiderweb-like strands of smooth and sturdy silk. The color has darkened beyond the golden hue of milk caramel to that more of burnt sugar. The natural punk look is no more; in its place is a style too unkempt to be referred to as any special coiffure. The hairs keep falling flat down into his face, in scattered squiggles over his forehead, too wispy and separate to look any different than an accident. I caught myself with a new habit of pushing the hairs to one side or another as to give a more combed look, mostly because I feel itchy to look at him, or "uttoushi" as they say in Japanese.
The new hair also offers up some fun: Chris and I play around with various combings and title each affectionately.

Emo-goth:












Hitler Youth:
Dwight Schrute:

Ananda Balasana

All yoga poses have names based on real life imagery. The instructors usually call out the Hindi, then translation, of half-moon, warrier, boat, etc. After any session which required some back strain, my instructor usually throws in what's known as Ananda Balasana, where you lie flat on your back, but grab your toes up in the air above you, knees bent.

See Zenas in his new move. In yoga it's called the Happy Baby.

Celebrity sighting #3

We'd migrated to the North Shore for the last few days of our trip. The water tends to be rough on the windward side, especially in the winter, so we opted to head to a beach we read about on the internet called Turtle Bay. It turned out to be a little beach nestled in a golf resort development--not our typical scene, but the water was low and perfect for the baby, and snorkeling possible just a few feet out from the beach.

Likely a bit more exclusive than the cheap vacation packages in Waikiki, but the atmosphere still felt like a canned version of Hawaii for visitors. But our experience was enhanced by Chris's celebrity spotting because by then we'd come up with the format for the ridiculous Zenas photos.

Behind Zenas in the water, and beyond Zenas on the beach, the gray-haired man is none other than actor Tim Robbins, whom we saw up close and personal:

Lost Item #2

Collapsible bouncy seat
Handed down to us by a dear friend. Handy for traveling, especially outdoors, when he could not sit up yet.
Last seen: Alamo Car Rental lobby, Honolulu, HI
*We left it behind accidentally while changing cars before our second leg in North Shore - didn't realize it until a few days later

Celebrity sighting #2

One of the many indulgent vices I've taken to during my leave is the watching of television. Of shameless, not-so-deep television that I had lived without for the last fifteen years or more. At first it was all that my poor sleep-deprived brain could handle in those lonely sessions of constant feedings that required some diversion. Reading was impossible and audiobooks were too difficult--so TV won, and I became once again an addict.
This would not have been possible without Netflix streaming. An endless supply of non-commercial television at my fingertips. Zenas took about thirty minutes to feed, which was just about as long as Chris could keep his eyes open. 30 Rock was great--quality writing, but there were only a couple dozen shows. I burned through the entire five seasons of the next must at feedings, Weeds, which also served as the soothing background to my blurry days at home. Eventually I turned to the new territory of formulaic reality TV on the food/travel channels. With morbid fascination, I watched an entire season and a half of Man v. Food before I burned out. Chris and I both noticed that as the show kept going, the host/challenger of food eating contests looked bigger and bigger...

Which brings us to the story of our second day in Hawaii. We were staying in Waikiki, and for convenience headed to the crowded beach to introduce Zenas to the water. It is likely one of the most stupidly crowded tourist spots in the world. We set up our little beach camp, and did what one does on the beach: enjoy the sun, eat a little, read a little, and people watch. Waikiki is not a beach scene like Baywatch. It is filled with families who have traveled from cold climates to be in the sun. There is not a toned body in sight.

One of the stranger things about being in a couple is that you often discover you are noticing the same thing, or having the same thought, at the same time. Chris and I were remarking on the sadness of it all when we noticed a man exiting the water in our direct line of sight--and out of nowhere I said, "he looks unhealthy just like that Man v. Food guy, except maybe a little better because he's much taller."

To which Chris said, "he's not taller. That's actually him. It's definitely him."

So we hotly argued if it was him or not for most of the day, trying not to stare, and though I had to admit the resemblance is amazing, I got hung on logic: why would a television star (okay, this is a loose term here) be alone, sunbathing for hours, at the Waikiki Beach? Chris did eventual convince me that a film crew would be in in Honolulu, staying at a hotel nearby, and that a NY guy would definitely head to the beach in his downtime. Chalk a rare victory up for Chris. :)

Here is the proof photo - though Zenas is cut off, he's definitely in the picture with Adam Richman (holding the beach mat).