First Quarter

Happy 3-month birthday Zenas! You are a quarter of the way in your first year of life.

Having just returned from our first trip back East, we are safe but all sick.
Zenas has his third virus in a row; this time, his little cough is so wet and his breathing so labored that we had to take him to see the doctor, who diagnosed it as croup. At one point his voice was so hoarse that we thought we were going to die from cute and heartbreak overload. Even at his worst, our little boy manages to reward us with smiles between his crying and coughing.

There is no remedy for a virus, just an attempt to ease the symptoms until it passes. For his breathing we were recommended to tent his crib with a sheet, and to point the humidifier into the cavity to give him moist air. "Now don't worry if he feels wet to the touch," said the Doctor. We followed his instructions but still questioned his methods when we touched the baby's cheek and found it covered with a fine, cold mist while he slept.

It's been three nonstop weeks of having him sick. Until now it hadn't been much of an issue, a runny nose at worst, but after this heartbreaking round I want a clean bill of health for the baby. As for myself, I am finally sick for the first time in over a year - the virus that caused the croup was too strong not to pass to me--and I remember what a drag it is to be at all under the weather. Just crushing to think that Z has been sick without understanding why, in what way and for how long he would be -- and not even the means to tell us how he's feeling. Having a sick kid is harder than I thought for this reason.